I Just Couldn't Help Myself
by jez7684
Summary: One Shot. Elena awakens with a start when a dream makes her realize her feelings for Damon have grown into more than she ever expected. Now she must make a choice: will she live out her wildest fantasy or let the opportunity pass her by? DamonxElena


His frozen cerulean eyes seared my vision, their intensity taking over all of my senses. It was as if those two hauntingly beautiful orbs were all I could see. I could feel his cool, smooth palms trailing over the curves of my body; I could feel his warm breath at my ear as his lips grazed my neck. Even the with the sensation of his razor blade teeth ghosting over my veins, I was completely engulfed in everything that was Damon Salvatore as he pinned my body beneath his. All I could see with my widened eyes were those two inhumanly perfect pools of blue.

But the thing I didn't understand was that I was enjoying this experience…thoroughly. I couldn't get enough of his touch and the feeling of his alabaster skin beneath my hands. His arms were wrapped tightly around my torso as he assaulted my neck with his lips and tongue, trailing his mouth up to my earlobe. I writhed beneath him, silently begging for more while my hands explored the strong planes of his back. His breath was hot and heavy as he covered my mouth with his, teasing my lips with his tongue. I moaned in pleasure when I finally tasted him; warm, sweet, delicious. As our kiss deepened, I plunged my fingers into his ebony hair, beckoning him closer to me even as our bodies molded perfectly together.

I was completely lost, unaware of anything and everything except for Damon. My Damon. But something was ghosting at the edges of my consciousness; why did I feel as though I shouldn't be enjoying this so much? But why would I want to deny myself this amazing pleasure? Something tugged at the back of my mind, a mixture of fear and guilt. I couldn't understand it. Then everything rushed towards me like a freight train. Stefan- where was Stefan? I loved Stefan…but I couldn't bring myself to stop clutching at Damon for dear life as his hands moved past my waist.

Suddenly, I opened my eyes and saw a pair of green orbs staring at me from over Damon's shoulder; from somewhere behind us in the darkness. The eyes were brimming with agony and hurt past the point of toleration. In that moment, Damon sat up, his blue eyes still boring into mine and spoke over his shoulder, "I guess we found who Elena's affections truly belong to, little brother." He flashed me his infamous smirk, fangs peeking out from beneath his lips as his grin widened.

"Stefan!" I nearly screamed as I awoke with a jolt, clutching at my sheets. I sat straight up in my bed, covered in sweat and panting. Well that was one hell of a dream. I actually felt exhausted from the whole experience despite the fact that I had been sleeping in my room for the duration of it. I slowly brought my palm up to my forehead, wiping the thin sheen of perspiration that had formed, feeling how feverish my skin was.

I couldn't believe my subconscious had conjured that up. But I still couldn't shake the feeling of longing that it left behind…longing for Damon…I felt so guilty in that moment. Stefan was the one I loved, the truly good soul, the man I belonged with. I had always loathed Damon. But in so many ways that wasn't true anymore. I felt myself being irrevocably drawn to him; I saw the true good that resided in him, even when he didn't. He always hid behind that smirk, that arrogant façade, thinking that it kept others from seeing past his demonic exterior. But the truth was that Damon was not evil at heart, he was a good soul, just as good as Stefan. I almost smiled as I thought of what he would say if I ever told him I thought that.

I was really the only one that could crack the wall that he kept up at all times. He tried to act like nothing fazed him; that he was always in control, enjoying every second of it. But he gave up that control for me…very rarely, but sometimes.

I was staring to lose my mind over this entire thing. I loved Stefan so much. I loved him even more when I thought of the terrible things that Damon had done in his past and how Stefan resisted all those temptations. But slowly, small pieces of my heart were being taken away from Stefan and given to Damon. How did this happen without me even realizing it?

Getting out of this sweaty tank top and shorts would definitely be a start to feeling better. I was over at my dresser, pulling out a large t shirt when I saw something resting on my window in the moonlight. The rest of my room was engulfed in the darkness. I quickly pulled the tank top over my head and my shorts off, and pulled on my over sized t-shirt as I made my way over to the window sill to examine the material strewn over it. A leather jacket? How the hell did that get in…

"Damon? Damon I know you're in here…" I whispered, trying to sound exasperated even as my heart sped in my chest. I turned around and around, still not finding any indication that he was here. Maybe my imagination was just running away with me again. But it's not like I wished he was here in my room. Right?

I went over to the window sill to examine said leather jacket, when I found that it wasn't there anymore. Okay now my heart was about to leap out of my mouth. It was just there a minute ago! I turned around and was greeted with Damon Salvatore, dark and saturnine, standing not three inches in front of me, clutching his leather jacket at his side. And of course smirking at me; showing me that he enjoyed startling me thoroughly.

I had opened my mouth to yelp in surprise, but he quickly covered it with his hand, gesturing for me to be quiet with the other. I calmed down as I saw his relaxed demeanor. But it was more than relaxed; he looked like the cat that caught the canary. He looked like he was fighting laughter over some hilarious hidden joke.

"Damon, God damnit you scared the hell out of me!" I whisper shouted at him. His grin only widened. I was beginning to get annoyed. "What are you laughing at?" his grin widened again. "Okay, now I'm getting annoyed. How did you even get in here? Are you aware how much of a stalker you are?" Now he started laughing quietly.

"Actually, my dear Elena," he said with that playful glint twinkling in his eyes, "I was taking a stroll on this beautiful night when I heard some…sounds of distress coming from your room…" his cerulean eyes flashed at me, smiling, as he paused. Sounds of distress? What was he playing at?

"So naturally," he continued, "I just had to scale up to your window to see if you were all right, being the upstanding citizen that I am." He settled himself against the wall by my window, leaning elegantly as the moonlight filtered over his sculpted arms.

"And that's when I realized that they, in fact, were not sounds of distress…but something else…" his eyes flashed to me again, this time the smirk becoming all too obvious plastered on his face. Oh god. Oh god! I must have been…moaning…oh dear Jesus, I will never live this down. His face broke into that heart breaking grin as he saw understanding dawn on my features.

"And what is even more interesting," he continued, much to my embarrassment, as he strolled over to me so we were standing face to face, "is that I heard you say something I couldn't quite make out at first…oh what was it..Damn? Damnit? Damon? Oh yes it was Damon!" He was toying with me intentionally, breaking into a full blown laugh as I swatted his chest, my face a lovely shade of tomato red.

"Why are you such an ass!" I whisper shouted at him again, not wanting to wake the others in my house.

"How am I the ass?! Apparently you enjoy my ass much more than you would like to admit!" he laughed again, my face positively flaming now. He turned from me slowly and lazily strolled around my room, examining my picture frames and various nick nacks lying around. That was the thing about Damon; he always managed to make himself look completely in place and at ease no matter what his surroundings. I stalked away from him angrily, staring at the wall, when I realized I was only in an oversized t-shirt.

Of course when I turned to grab some shorts from my dresser, Damon had appeared out of thin air inches in front of me. I sucked in a deep breath. "You really need to stop doing that."

"There's no need to be embarrassed, Elena," he said quietly as he touched the red tinge in my cheeks softly. He looked me straight in the eye, his intense gaze boring into me. "Tell me, did you enjoy having that dream as much as I enjoyed listening to it?" His ice blue eyes were fiery in their intensity, burning at the edges of my vision.

I found myself falling into his gaze again, just like in the dream, my body instinctively leaning into his, being drawn in by some invisible force…

"Damon! Do not compel me, I swear!" I said seriously, realizing why I suddenly found it so hard to pull myself away from him. But his eyebrows knitted together as he frowned.

"I wasn't compelling you…" he said, confused, as he fingered the necklace of vervain hanging around my neck. I had forgotten about the vervain... He smiled infinitesimally as he realized I was reacting to some sort of insatiable pull towards him.

"I can feel it too…" he whispered as the atmosphere between us suddenly changed, becoming charged with invisible electricity; changing from banter to serious in an instant. I could feel his warm breath on my face, caressing me. He slowly reached his hand up to brush my hair from my face, arching a perfect brow; always teasing me. I would have been pissed off having to deal with his attitude in a usual situation, but this was much more than unusual…

He looped a finger around my vervain necklace, using it to pull my face closer to his, as if to remind me that I was doing this of my own free will, without any prompting or compelling. My breath quickened as his lips drew closer. I looked up and met his intense gaze, always playful, testing me, never showing me his vulnerability. He reached his other hand up and gently cupped the side of my face, as I leaned into it so naturally. What was happening to me? I couldn't get enough of his touch.

His mouth hovered over mine, waiting. His eyes met mine, as if he was asking for permission. Well, where the hell did this sweet and careful Damon come from? His change in demeanor only served to draw me in closer. His lips slowly brushed against mine and I came undone in a frenzy. I plunged my hands into his soft hair, pulling him towards me as he wrapped an arm around my waist, molding our bodies together. Our lips moved perfectly in synch, fusing together naturally. He slowly teased my bottom lip with his tongue before I opened my mouth, turning the kiss from slow and sensual to heated and passionate in an instant. His hand rested at the back of my head, completely engulfing me in his rich, warm smell, the feel of cool leather beneath my fingertips, the sensation of sharing his quickened breath. I had never experienced anything like this wonderful torture.

As our tongues battled, his smooth palms moved from my face down the sides of my neck, continuing between my breasts, down over my stomach. I gasped in pleasure into his mouth before he began trailing his tongue down the side of my neck, suckling the hollow above my collarbone, where I'm sure he could feel my pulse racing.

I let my hands explore his chest and the strong muscles that lay underneath, moaning softly as he continued to bathe my neck and chest with kisses. He abruptly grasped the back of my bare thighs and lifted me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist without giving it a second thought. "Oh Damon," I whispered quietly in his ear as his strong arms wrapped around me. His name actually tasted sweet on my tongue. I was so lost…Stefan thing was so far away in that moment. How did it come to this?

He pushed me against the wall, once again attacking my mouth passionately. It was as if every sound of pleasure I emitted spurred him on, sending him into a frenzy. I cupped his face with both hands, relinquishing all control of my body, allowing myself to just fall into my twisted fantasy. No more Stefan. No more thoughts. Just feel.

Soon enough he carried me haphazardly to my bed, lowering me down as every inch of his body pressed deliciously into mine. He paused for a moment, oddly gazing into my eyes, his stare soft yet serious. He was pensive and careful, before he slowly brushed his lips against mine, bringing us back to slow and sensual, his hands tenderly caressing my face. I was amazed at this side of Damon I had never seen, he was treating me like a porcelain doll, every motion filled with care and calculation. And what made it all the more wonderful is that I knew this side was only for me. This small, almost broken part of Damon was only on display for me to see, for me to experience.

I had no idea how I got here…if I tried to think about it too much my head literally would start to ache. But it was like Damon was a different person for me. He never let his guard down for anyone else; he didn't even trust his own brother. But his belief and assurance and made me feel…special, as ridiculous as that sounds. I had let him have tiny pieces of my heart because he had given me even smaller portions of his. Stefan was easy to love from the beginning, but there was something about the journey that made me resolved in Damon more and more when I spent moments like this with him. It goes without saying that Damon's attitude and demeanor can piss me off to no end, but more and more of that shell was breaking away the more I loved him; the more I fought for him.

Damon settled between my legs, and I wrapped my calves around his torso, drawing him closer. I just wanted to experience this now. His tongue assaulted mine once again as his hands traveled from my face down to my shoulders, causing me to shiver under his touch. He broke our kiss and granted me with his perfect smirk as his hands went down my sides, playing with the hem of my shirt, before slowly drawing it up and over my head. He stared at me unabashedly as I lay beneath him, breathing hard in only my panties.

"Perfect," he growled as his hand whispered over my breast, smiling as I drew in a sharp breath. He leaned down, drawing his tongue over my collarbone ever so lightly, and around and around to encircle each breast. I was practically drooling as I became lost in every sensation; one hand plunged into his hair as the other gripped his bicep. My back arched as far off the bed as possible as I moaned his name loudly when he drew my nipple into his mouth, bathing it with hot laps.

After he was done, he drew his nose over my stomach, inhaling and closing his eyes as he went. "Mmm, Elena…you smell delicious," he whispered as his cerulean eyes darted up to meet mine, always flashing with that demonically playful gleam. "Good enough to eat," he whispered, this time breaking into a full grin, no doubt acknowledging the completely ironic cliché of his statement.

At any other time, these words coming from Damon would have sent shivers down my spine, reminding me of exactly what kind of creature he was. But now, as I stared at the beautiful man lost in me, trusting me, his words sent electric currents from my head to my toes, straight to my center. There was absolutely no doubt that Damon knew what he was doing.

He must have sensed my momentary stiffness at his words, because he leaned up on his elbows, coming face to face with me. "I know you understand that I would never lay a hand on you," he whispered, his intense gaze boring into mine. He had become so serious and endearing at different points in the night, and then the next moment he was back to playful teasing. His emotional flip flops were giving me whiplash. But that's what I…loved about him.

I grasped his collar, pulling him down onto me once again, smiling slightly before I attached my mouth to his. He dove into the kiss enthusiastically, grasping me to him, before breaking away again to look at me. He smoothed away the hair from the side of my face, flashing his crooked smile.

"You know, if I had known you would respond this enthusiastically, I would have gone in for the kill much sooner…" He quipped, as he knitted his eyebrows together, his eyes dancing. He was trying to draw attention away from his serious and tender attitude during different parts of the night, I could tell.

I lifted a hand to the side of his face, smoothing my thumb across his cheekbone as I thought of what I could say. "You think you need to keep up this wall of constant banter even when we're together like this…" I said, frowning. "Why don't you understand that you don't need to always be in control?" His frown matched mine as I said that.

"You just have me all figured out, don't you, dear Elena?" He said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. I knew there was no response needed on that subject. He knew I was right.

"For once, just feel, Damon. Just be with me…" I whispered, almost exasperated as I wrapped my arms around his neck slowly, kissing him tenderly. I don't think I could stop the never ending stream of teasing and banter in our relationship even if I tried…and I wouldn't want to. But, I could feel, even if just in the slightest, his surrender as his body relaxed into mine, his breath flowing steadily into my mouth as he cradled my face.

And once again, the kiss soon grew passionate, as Damon grasped my leg and pulled it higher around his waist, rubbing deliciously against my most sensitive spot. I gasped as my body arched almost painfully off the bed, clutching Damon's shoulders. I couldn't take it anymore; I clumsily pulled at the hem of his shirt, yanking it up and over his head quickly. He laughed softly and I could almost imagine him thinking "Eager, are we?" But wisely remained silent. He just slid down my body, torturing me, as he slowly drew my panties down and off, tossing them somewhere in the darkness.

I knew I was about to lose my mind when I felt his lips brush the inside leg, ghosting feather light closer and closer to where I needed him most. "Oh baby" I would have sworn I heard him whisper as he placed a languid kiss on the inside of my thigh. I let my head loll back, closing my eyes as they rolled back in my head. His hands were resting on either side of my hips, anchoring me to the bed, when I felt his tongue draw a long slow stroke down my center. I reflexively threw my leg over his shoulder, writhing against the bed.

I had never felt anything close to this pleasure in my life before…nothing could compare to what he had made me feel in just these small caresses. My heart ached as I thought of him leaving my room tonight, disappearing into the darkness. I knew it was ridiculous to feel this way, but I had no handle whatsoever on what was right and what was wrong anymore, especially now.

"Damon, please, I need you," I whimpered as I rested my hand on the side of his neck, panting as my head lolled back. I couldn't take it anymore. This was past the point of no return. I couldn't go back now…and I absolutely didn't want to.

Lightning quick as always, Damon flashed back up to eye level before lowering his head to suckle my pulse point as he deftly pulled off his jeans. I let my hands roam up and down his glorious body, feeling every defined muscle and crevice in his torso. He was beautiful.

And then suddenly I felt him pull my head up to meet his gaze; he paused for a beat, his indigo orbs darting between my eyes. "I'm not one to fret over moral dilemmas…but I won't have you looking at me with regret every time you see me. Don't do this without making a decision. Choose." he whispered forcefully to me.

I found it hard to concentrate on his words with his strong arms wrapped around me; our naked bodies pressed together, inches away from what I wanted most in that moment. But there was so much truth to his words. What did I want? I wanted Stefan…I wanted Damon. I saw no conceivable way I could choose. But I had to. And in that moment I made my decision; at least for now. I knew exactly what I wanted in the thick fog of passion and want.

"Right now I know exactly what I want. No regrets…," I whispered as I held his face, never breaking our gaze. I leaned up to whisper in his ear, "I want you more than anything," before I drew his earlobe into my mouth.

Those final words spurred him on, as he gripped the backs of my thighs, thrusting into me slow and sweet, but powerful all at once. We moaned into each other's mouths at the delicious contact, my eyes widening as white spots blurred my vision. I threw my limbs around him, losing control of my breathing my senses, everything. He started a slow and steady rhythm, pulling out nearly all the way, and then sinking in to the hilt.

I could feel myself building and building, waves of pleasure coursing through every vein in my body. I began meeting each thrust, pulling him deeper and deeper. Soon enough, slow and steady turned to heated and rough. I was approaching my peak so quickly, and his moans of pleasure as he thrust harder and faster showed me he was quickly approaching too. I thought I couldn't take anymore when he suddenly pulled out of me, flipping me onto my stomach, and reentering me from behind. Every inch of his body was pressed into mine, every piece of him welded to me. One more hard thrust and I shook beneath him as he covered my mouth with his hand, making me swallow my cries of ecstasy.

I felt him come undone above me, groaning in pleasure as his fingers laced through mine beside my head, pressing my palm into my bed. He collapsed on top of me momentarily, before drawing himself out and falling into the mattress next to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I could already feel myself losing consciousness, my body wanting to sink into nothingness after such an intense experience.

But I couldn't close my eyes. I was frozen staring at the incredible man lying next to me. His eyes fluttering closed, his chest rising and falling rapidly with quickened breaths, his alabaster skin almost luminescent in slivers of moonlight. He was perfect.

I gripped his bicep, pulling his face down to me with my other hand. His intense cerulean gaze met mine as always, fire dancing behind his irises. "Stay with me…" I whispered so softly that a normal human wouldn't be able to hear.

He bent down, placing a chaste kiss at the base of my neck in response. I allowed my eyes to close, and just as I was about to drift into the blackness of sleep, I felt a piercingly pleasurable pain course through my veins. I couldn't believe I was almost…enjoying this…I opened my mouth wide as if to scream, but not even a whisper came out.

Damon raised his head up, his flaming gaze burning into my eyes. "Sorry. I just couldn't help myself," he said as his smirked widened infinitely, his tongue darting out to taste the drop of blood left at the edge of his mouth. He let out a small laugh as he leaned up to kiss me chastely once again.


End file.
